Dr. Julia Dials opened the door
tiredly to her office and beckoned Yaritza to come in. It was 10:00p.m., and
Yaritza had waited impatiently for her to arrive. Dr. Dials was tall, wearing
dark slacks and a short-sleeved polo shirt. She had obviously dressed for a
casual evening and had it interrupted. “Have a seat,” she said.
Yaritza sat down with her head in her hands. “I almost did it tonight.”
“Did what?” Dials asked as she sat in her computer chair.
“Almost gave in to something I’ve been denying myself for a long time.”
“What is that?”
Yaritza looked up and into Julia’s eyes. “A lesbian tryst.” She gave a
small digest version of the events leading up to and including her visit with
Nikea.
Dials nodded slowly throughout the story, making small notes. When
Yaritza was finished, she sighed. “We’ve talked about this before, a long way
back.”
“I know. I just didn’t think anything would come of it. It’s moved fast
and I haven’t been able to catch a breath.”
“And she is a possible suspect in a murder case?”
“Yes.”
“Have you told your supervisor about her?”
“As a suspect?”
“As everything.”
“He knows she’s a suspect. He knows I believe she’s lesbian. He doesn’t
know how it’s affecting me, and I lied to him about going over. I said she
invited me, and I said I was merely considering it to get deeper background on
her.”
“If you’d stayed next to her on the couch, what do you think would have
happened?”
Yaritza shrugged. “Probably would have continued into I don’t know
what.”
Dials smirked. “Yaritza, you’re not stupid. Do you think you would have
taken your clothes off?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would she have taken hers off?”
“Probably.”
“If that had happened, and you decided not to move from the couch, do
you think you would have responded to that?”
“Responded?”
“In street lingo, feel her up?”
“Julia, I really can’t say, because I did run out.”
“And you and she agreed that it was not over, right?”
Yaritza sighed and closed her eyes. “We did.”
“Meaning you and she will probably go further sometime in the near
future.”
“Maybe.”
“Can you do that and not jeopardize the investigation at the same time?”
“Well, there might not be an investigation much longer if leads keep
drying up.”
Julia cleared her throat, sat back, and said, “Yaritza, we’ve discussed
your experience with men in the past, your unplanned abortion, and your few and
far between work partners. The reason those associations were not successful is
because you come off as the stronger person. The males in your life felt
threatened by that, it seems.”
“I can be pushy and overbearing.”
“You like control.”
“Yes.”
“And now you are in a situation where someone else is controlling you.”
“She is not controlling me!”
“So you’re controlling her?”
“No! I mean, I don’t know what I mean.”
“You know. It scares you to know.”
“Julia, I need to be in control of myself. With her, I am losing control
of myself.”
“Are you scared?”
“Of losing control? Yes I am.”
“Are you scared of a lesbian experience?”
“I guess I am. I survived the kiss enough, though, and liked it.”
“What if she wants to play with your breasts?”
“Not much to play with here.”
“If she wants you, it won’t matter. What if that happens? Or she wants
you to play with hers?”
“I don’t know. Might freak me out a bit, but it might be fun.”
“What if she wants you in her genitals? Or she wants to be in yours?”
“Using clinical terms, are we?”
Julia grinned. “Not my job to use the regular lingo. What if that came
about?”
“I think that’s what frightens me the most.”
“Why?”
“A new experience. Guys haven’t done well there before.”
“And you’re afraid a woman would do it better.”
“Yes.”
Julia closed her notebook. “Yaritza, we definitely need to talk about
this a lot more.”
“Why not now?”
“Because I am already tired. I will say, however, that until tonight I
thought you’d successfully repressed the small urges you once told me about. This
Nikea has obviously woken them up again in a big way. I also think you’ve
repressed your sexuality for a long time. You need to explore that more.”
“Should I pursue her further?”
“I can’t say yes or no to that. I would frown on that as long as she is
a suspect in a case. Afterward, if she is cleared, then do what you feel you
need to do.”
Yaritza stood up. “If I can wait that long.”
“You’ll be fine. Go home and sleep. You have a toy?”
“Somewhere.”
“It’ll help a bit if you use it, probably.”
“That’s tonight. What about tomorrow?”
Julia smiled and sighed. “Good night, Yaritza.”
Yaritza barely pulled herself into
the station the next morning. She had not slept all night, and she feared that
the next few nights would be about the same. She had cursed Nikea silently and
aloud for messing with her head. The thoughts of her were not all that
unpleasant, and that scared her more than anything else. The emergency therapy
session had not helped as much as she had hoped it would, though Julia Dials
did give her food for thought.
Corday, as usual, was lurking about when Yaritza didn’t really want him
around. “Rough night?”
“No, easy as ever,” she snapped sarcastically.
“In my office.” In that tone, she knew better than to argue, and
immediately rued sassing her boss. She went in and he followed and shut the
door. “You paid Ms. Robertson a visit last night?”
“I did.” She was right, the tail was still on, and the visit was a bad
risk.
“Discuss business?”
“A little.”
“What did you say exactly?”
“I told her that I might talk to one more person, then I’ll personally
recommend to you that we consider the case an act of desert road rage.”
“And she said?”
“She begged me not to close it.”
“Then?”
Esteban sighed. “Then we get into
territory I’m not willing to discuss.”
“Does it involve business?”
“No.”
Corday sighed, looking down at his desk for several minutes, at nothing
in particular. The silence was almost too long for Yaritza to stand. Finally,
Corday looked up sternly. “Esteban, you’ve never compromised yourself before. I
hope to hell you’re not starting now.”
“If you mean that I’d let a personal matter affect how I do my job, the
answer is no.”
“And if Nikea Robertson turns out to be a suspect, particularly our
prime suspect?”
“Not if we consider the case closed.”
“And if that’s what she wanted all along? I have a strong feeling you’re
being played.”
“No, Captain, if you’d seen her face when I told her I’d close it, you’d
know how wrong that assumption is.”
“Yaritza, we’ve talked about her being a lesbian, and I’m just filling
in some blanks.”
“Blanks?”
“I’ll just put this out there. Did something happen between you two last
night?”
“I don’t want to discuss that!”
“I’ll take that as a yes. Damnit, I hate this!” There was another long,
awkward silence. Corday was almost never that conflicted about anything.
Finally, he asked, “You have one more interview?”
“Celestina Plank’s ex-husband James. He works for Jefferson-Brown.”
“The law firm?”
“The same.”
“In your professional opinion, with the lack of evidence toward any possible
suspect, can we solve this?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then why bother interviewing the guy?”
“I want his take on his relationship with Celestina. Since Mark
Robertson broke in once, I’m seeing a weird connection.”
“A left-field hunch, in other words.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think it’s worth it.”
“I know you don’t.”
Corday nodded slowly, keeping his
eyes locked on hers. “Interview him. Afterwards, give the case file to me.”
“We’re going to close?”
“Possibly. See what Mr. Plank has to say first.”
“And then?”
“And then you’re on paid leave. If anything comes up again on the case,
I’ll handle it, or have another detective finish it.”
Yaritza was stunned. “What the hell!”
“Esteban, you were followed last night!”
“I know, by the guys who jerk off to shadows, right?”
“No, by me. I knew where you were going.”
Yaritza looked down in rage, fear. “You…had…no…right!”
“You were jeopardizing the case and your career. In that respect I had
every fucking right!”
“I was not!”
“After you left, I stayed.”
“Why?”
“To see if she left.”
Yaritza looked up slowly, the anger in her eyes still present. “And?”
“She left and paid a visit to Celestina Plank.”
Yaritza sighed. “I told her I’d questioned the woman.”
“You TOLD her?”
“Yes.”
“Why the hell don’t you just share all your case notes while you’re at
it! Jesus Christ!”
“You knew I did when she went there, though, right?”
“No, I was puzzled. Not any more, though.”
“Did you see or hear anything?”
“I’m not sure I want to share that with you right now,” he replied
coldly.
“Please!”
Corday sighed in exasperation. “It looked like a heated discussion,
Nikea never left the door.”
“Did you hear anything?”
“Nothing that would affect the case!” Corday sighed again, calming his
nerves, then continued. “It looked like the ex-wife vented on the ex-lover and
accused her of killing him. Plank laughed in her face and slammed the door
before a cat fight would start. Then, Nikea went home.”
Yaritza puzzled over that for a minute. Nikea was certainly able to turn
from warm lover-to-be to vengeful ex-wife. “That was quite a mood swing.”
“Mine or Nikea’s?”
“Nikea’s.”
“Anyway, after today, you’re suspended for 3 weeks with pay. There is no
negotiation there.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“You need to figure out what’s going on with you. Suddenly I don’t trust
your judgment and I don’t like that feeling. Please go and do your last bit of
business for today.”
“Does due process fit into any of this?”
Corday suddenly smiled as pleasantly
as he could. “No, because this is a personal favor you’re doing for me and
yourself, a long-deserved vacation. I’ll tell my boss that you’re on a deep
undercover assignment if he asks. Yaritza, you don’t want this official. If it
gets to that point, I don’t know of any member of the review board who’d let
you stay a cop after this scandal. This way, you get time to think. Later, when
your head clears, you’ll come back kicking ass as usual.”
Yaritza had to smile. “Well, you
did say when.”
“And I mean it. You’re a helluva cop, but you’re fucking up right now,
and I don’t suffer fuck-ups.”
Yaritza stood, wanting to rant at him, but it was no use. What made it
worse was that she knew he was right. She had to take time to sort it all out,
and figure out if she really was a lesbian. She also needed to know if she
truly wanted Nikea. Without another word, she nodded curtly and left.
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